I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The struggles of a small town man whore
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
