had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Randomize