Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Randomize
