I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
