i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
