I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
