New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I fill condoms, not promises.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize