I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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