Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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