Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize