he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
