I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
