theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
