would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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