Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
