I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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