Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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