Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
