yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
