accomplished twins. life is a go
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize