she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
