return my video game
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
