Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
