you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
