Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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