I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
