I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
