They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
