i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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