well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
