the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize