Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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