Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm like, not good at living.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
