Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
