I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Still dying that you shit outside
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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