Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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