Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
