I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
