Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
True strength comes from lack of pants
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
