Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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