peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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