Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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