Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
