Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
