oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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