He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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