Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
