Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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