I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
