Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
