I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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