Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
