If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
