I am puke
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize