I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
