her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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