i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
