U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My breasts were aching with rage.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
