I wish I only lived at night.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
