glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
